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Thursday 22 March, 2012 - THIS BLOG IS BEING RETiRED AND MOVED TO BLOGSPOT. YOU CAN NOW FIND IT ON BLOGSPOT BY CLICKING ON THE ICON

JohnnyNaughty SPpeaks! New Blog on BlogSpot!

Thursday 22 March, 2012

The OTHER Blog post on BLOGSPOT the OTHER JohnnyNaughty Blogspot

Pet Peeve and the reason why I don’t have a cellphone.


Once upon a time, there was no internet. I know some of you youngsters may not believe me, but its true. There were also no cell phones. And, most importantly, until relatively recently in this timeline, there was no Facebook.


I’m relatively easy to please. I truly am. I am a nice guy, who goes about his daily stuff and does what he has to – without needing to check in everywhere I go. I notice on Facebook I am constantly barraged with people’s every action - like they are trying to rub your nose in it. Most of this is coming from their cell-phone app. So I thought to myself, in my day, what would my “check ins” look like? So here is what I think it may be like:
9:48 am Johnny Naughty checked in at The Porcelain bowl, with URINE.
9:50am Johnny Naughty checked in at the Coffee Maker, with CREAMER and SUGAR
9:51am Johnny Naughty is Smoking with HIMSELF @ The Computer
9:51am Johnny Naughty is sipping coffee and checking emails @Home
9:55am Johnny Naughty is taking a SHIT @ The Porcelain Bowl with ToiletPaper
9:59am Johnny Naughty is Lighting a Cigarette and Reading annoying statuses on FACEBOOK @home while his HAND is on his…

See what I mean? I mean seriously. WHO GIVES A DAMN? Do we need a blow by blow of everyones day?

OK OK – rant over and maybe I am over re-acting. But do people not think? I mean lets put it this way. For a moment, imagine you are single. Or – better yet – imagine you just broke up with your boyfriend. And you are sad, or lonely, or depressed. And you go to facebook because that is your habit. And what are you barraged with? Happy couples telling you how they had lunch together at such and such, or how they are cuddling on the sofa watching romantic movies and eating popcorn, or wiping each others arses in their palatial home on a tropical island.

I’m not saying don’t be happy with your relationship or proud that you managed to eat at McDonalds today without throwing up because of pink slime, I’m just saying think a little more of the impact what you say has on other people and their feelings. And – the scary thing about that last statement – is that I have said that before in other blogs. Damnit – why isn’t anyone listening?

 

Monday, 19 March, 2012

OPINIONS Post on BlogSpot BlogSpot Opinions Blog

Masters and Slaves

1. Masters
Masters appear to take many forms, but generally they are all fundamentally the same. A Master, typically, is dominant who takes apposition of dominance over a submissive, most often in the form of a slave, and I will get to that later.
In some instances, the title ‘Master’ is earned by someone, and bestowed upon them having had many years of experience and training. This was instituted strongly by the ‘Old Guard’ leather community, and a Master was someone who had worked their way up the ranks from Slave to that position, and earned it proudly.
I should interject here that that I strongly differentiate between the terms Dominant and Top – to me they are two different things. The dominant is always in control – even if he is bottoming. A Submissive and be a top, and still be submissive to a dominant.
Masters aren’t always promoted to such, but I think for a Master to be a good one he should have some experience of the other side of the coin. Experience as a bottom is pretty much virtually essential. And part of me mistrusts the slew of ‘Masters’ who are around age 20 and simply think by using humiliation, verbal abuse and so on to try and win dominance that way. In my opinion (after all this is an opinion piece) those are the most dangerous type of ‘master’. They have little to no experience, very little maturity, and one important element I have seen them lack – Respect.
And by respect I don’t just mean like ‘He’s an older guy, I should call him Sir’ type of respect. I mean – realizing that when you take control of a submissive, you have a duty and a responsibility for that person’s well-being: mental, physical and emotional. A good Master knows this and practices this constantly. Its all fine in a session to break down a subs walls and limits etc – but you need to ensure you are not creating a monster by destroying the vestiges of emotional and mental strength in them. Nor are you causing harm to their body by not knowing your stuff. I have heard horror stories from subs who have left play sessions with such ‘masters’ and been hospitalized from their injuries, or suffered emotional breakdowns, or withdrawn and required therapy to rebuild their trust in anyone ever again. Those types of ‘masters’ I think we can do without.
2. Slaves
The term slave has many negative connotations in the secular world. Historically speaking, slaves have been abducted from the native lands, transported across the globe and sold as one would livestock. Wikipedia describes slavery as: “Slavery is a system under which people are treated as property to be bought and sold, and are forced to work. Slaves can be held against their will from the time of their capture, purchase or birth, and deprived of the right to leave, to refuse to work, or to demand compensation.”
In terms of the leather community, slaves are to a greater or lesser extent, depending on the Master, precisely that, although in some instances the “ideal” is not achievable. Reality kicks in, and don’t get me wrong, some people are able to make the conditions ideal and maintain it for many years, but that’s not always possible, nor always the case. A slave in leather terms willing surrenders to a Master, which changes the game plan a little, but not much. In doing so, the give up all rights to self. They are stripped of independence, opinion and choice. In some instances they are physically abused, mentally abused and in short, broken to the point of no return. A slave is molded by his Master to be what the Master wishes him to be. Often this is dictated in a mutually signed contract.
Before I delve more into what the relationship between a Master and slave is, let me point out a few things which many potential ‘slaves’ seem to forget.
Firstly, real life happens. It’s a great fantasy to believe that one can totally give up everything in ones life and become a slave to the ideal Master who will have wild kinky sex with him 24/7/365 and life will be bliss. In actuality, unless the Master is independently wealthy, this is impossible. People have to work, earn money, pay bills etc. So – there goes your 24/7. Many gay people have straight friends – who visit or pop over – and may not be quite so happy to see a naked man with a padlocked collar running around the house. (There are some who would – but that’s beside the point). Errands have to be run, and a slave who runs around naked doing them is bound to get arrested. So again – the 24/7 thing doesn’t always work.
Secondly owning a slave is a heck of a lot of work for a Master. Put yourself in those shoes – making EVERY decision for the slave – even when (and if) it can use the toilet, etc. From a slaves perspective, this can be frustrating and annoying (and probably for some a turn on, of course), but in practicality ends up becoming a nuisance to some extent.
In my opinion, I don’t think I would like a slave (Well not at this point in my life) because the practicalities would never allow me to keep it happy and entertained. (You can smile at that).
3. The Master and Slave relationship
A slave should compliment his Master. And I don’t mean “you look nice today”. I suppose a more correct term would be complete his Master; Be the compliment of; fulfill the Master. He should be trained to do things as his Master desires and only have to be told once. The ultimate ‘yes man’ as it were. He should anticipate the Masters whim and fancy and desires and needs and ensure that the Master’s best interests are always served. A good friend told me once of a slave who literally took a bullet for his Master and dies in the process. It’s that level of dedication that would set aside a true slave from a wanna-be.
Conversely, the Master assumes complete responsibility for the slave – everything from what the slave wears and eats to what his activities are, and what restrictions are placed upon him. Is the slave made to go out and work and earn money for the household? Does he stay home and keep the house in order and do other assigned tasks all day? It’s going to vary by Master, of course, as well as by the practicalities mentioned above. A Master will view the slave as property – much as one would a TV, DVD player or car, I guess, with not too much emotional attachment.
This is not to say that there is NO emotional attachment, only that it is less than that found in an equal relationship. And I think that Love is something which may in some instances be impossible from the Masters side. The emotional detachment is almost a requirement of a Master in this case unless they have absolutely no heart whatsoever. A slave, on the other hand, will probably not only be in love with his Master, but be totally devoted to his being.
4. My thoughts on these relationships
While I mentioned earlier that I don’t see myself having a slave, I have to admit a certain amount of appeal. Lord knows I hate washing dishes and doing laundry, etc. And having someone to play with and experiment and practice new techniques of kink and BDSM etc on certainly has its appeal. However, for me the practicalities will get in the way. The cost of feeding two mouths, the fact that I have family and friends who visit, my daily routines, social life etc, all these things which would preclude me from actually owning a slave. Besides the fact that I dislike the term “property”, the basis of slavery (forced or not) goes against my upbringing and moral alarm bells.
I feel a human life is far too valuable to be sold and traded as one would a cow. But that’s just me. And this is my opinion.
I Value your comments, opinions and input on this subject! Post a comment below!!

Tuesday, 13 March, 2012

Some days I have to ask myself why I bother. With a lot of things, but here are a few.
Firstly – why do I bother to blog? I mean – lets face it – 99% of the people who visit this site do not come here for the blog. All I have to do is look at the site statistics for the site – and that is proved over and over again. People come here to look at the porn. When I (rarely) get feedback, its always from the same few people who thankfully listen and appreciate that I am not just some kind of sex object, and actually have a personality, and for those few I am grateful. The problem is that being a sex object makes me feel like I am not valued for anything else. That can be a harsh reality, I  guess, and sadly, I think it only goes to show that the gay community, generally can no longer be called that – community. Its become a group of gay men who like to complain, cause drama and stir the pot as it were. So lets deal with that next.
The gay condition (because community doesn’t seem to fit in the true sense of the word) has some serious problems. Firstly – there is no sense of manners. And while that is true of much of the younger generations, its not solely upon them, as we generally, have all become rather lax in our “manners”. We don’t enforce them in children, and don’t follow them ourselves. The age of technology has made us forego the ‘niceties’ of yesteryear. Now while I’m not talking about table manners (although heaven knows some people should learn to chew with their mouths closed because it sounds like a troupe of vaginas marching through mud) that would probably be a very good place to start. I’m talking about social manners. Things like – and these are examples don’t crucify me – how we talk to one another. It’s all ‘bitch’ this and ‘insult’ that. We have gone away from the how to greet and treat people with dignity and respect. We converse with one another via text and chat and email but have no idea how to hold a conversation in person. Hell people even break up with others over text or email – we have lost the ability to communicate openly and honestly and with respect. We have lost our manners – and that is a great loss indeed.
What im getting at here is how frustrating it can be communicating with people on a daily basis. The internet has made us all hide behind these online identities, where we don’t give the whole truth about ourselves, or often, in my experience with others, outright lie. Gay men tell people what they think they want to hear to get whatever it is they are after. It can be small things from not disclosing a relationship to huge things like not disclosing an STD or other physical impairment. Believe me, I have heard it all – some have even gone as far as to say “I love you” when in love with another.
I find it frustrating that the basic fundamentals of Honesty, Integrity and Respect are lost to an entire generation. I find it frustrating that I now have to treat new people in my life with mistrust until I am 100% certain of who they are, and how true their intentions are.
I know it sounds like I am being a cynic but – honestly – can you blame me? Ive been used and abused and made to feel like trash by many a person over time. And somehow I have to protect myself from being hurt and destroyed as I have been in the past.
Conversely, I think a lot of the hurt was caused by my mistaken belief that other people believed in the 3 fundamental cornerstones I do – honesty, integrity and respect. The sad truth is, many people do not. Don’t get me wrong here – I am FAR from perfect, I know that. But I don’t misrepresent myself. I treat others as I would like to be treated. I respect the right and opinions of others, even if I disagree with them. I believe in manners, and it honestly takes an inordinate amount to piss me off or upset me to the point that I would forget my manners or let my guard down. When it happens – watch out  - I am rabid in my attacks. And while I may forgive someone, I will never forget the harm caused, and the trust and respect have to be rebuilt from scratch, I am sad to say.
So this may cause a flurry of annoyance in you – remember its just a blog and just my own personal opinion. Just saying :)
*********
In other news:
New picture galleries on the site – incase you havent seen them yet – check them out.
New clips in the clipstore
New Blogspot page
New Tumblr Page (links also from the gallery)
Want to send a comment? Email me HERE

Thursday, 16 February, 2012

Today a friend reprimanded me. It was a little unexpected. And when he said in his messaged “I’m gonna kick your ass” I was a tad concerned, but things became clear when we were on the phone.
He had been reading some of my previous blog posts. And he felt he had to point out some things to me - like the fact that some people who had been in my life and around me had led me to start believing the negative things they felt compelled to point out about me. But in his words: “Don’t let me ever hear you say that you are not strong. You are stronger than most of the people I know, you have been through more and are a better person than many you have had contact with”
And I guess I deserved that. He is right. I have had a long tough run of things, and yet I carry on. To my friends I am a rock of strength, a sounding board and counselor. I sometimes have felt that while im great at helping others, I am not always so good at helping myself.
But that is changing. Friends, like the one mentioned above and others, have been helping me deal with issues and problems and move forward. Already I have started clearing out the chaff from my life. (not sure what I mean? Check out previous blog posts around new years) And in doing so, I think I have found a couple of amazing pieces of wheat.
In my discussion today we covered how easy it is for people to point out negatives and flaws – and why people do so. Let me first say – its takes an inordinate amount of compliments to eradicate just one insult or criticism. So why do people criticize? Because its far easier to point out ones own faults in others than in oneself. People get intimidated when they come across someone who has more integrity, honest and respect towards other than they do, or when someone is stronger. So they pick at the all the small negative things they can to make that person feel worse, and make themselves feel superior.
So I’ve chosen not to accept that anymore. I am strong. I am an AMAZING person. I have saved lives, I have saved relationships. I have helped people overcome financial, emotional, mental or physical problems, and helped people see their lives different, live more, and live better. I will not be put down, I will not allow other peoples own low self esteem to be fueled by the power they try and leach and cut out from me.
My friend today pointed out that I also have more heart than I give myself credit for. Again he is right. (friends so often are).  Damn it – I care. I care a heck of a lot. About a lot of things. And a LOT of people. Possibly too many. And that’s not a bad trait, necessarily, but it has its drawbacks. Those are that I open up and give a spot in my heart those who need it, in a nurturing, parental way. (see my poetry series elsewhere on this page). While admirable, this leaves me open to those whose intent is not genuine.
It boils down to trust, and while I may have trusted easily in the past – those days for me are now gone. It takes a lot for me to open up to people now, and last years experiences are part of, but not the only cause of that. My entire history has shown me the reasons I get hurt from trusting too easily. And it’s a lesson hard learned, let me assure you. The problem is I expect people to be like I am - to have Honesty, integrity and respect for me.
The sad reality is that 90% of people one comes across are not as honorable as you are. They don’t have the same integrity, and they don’t respect you. They are selfish and arrogant, and will do whatever it takes to get what they want. Play the game, play the roles flawlessly, until they find something better. Then one is discarded and ‘kicked to the curb’ as it were and left wondering ‘WTF Happened?!’
It’s not enough to recognize ones past and how it has brought one to a certain point, or caused certain events. Knowing the “WHY” and “HOW” is insufficient. When one recognizes them tho, the next step is “What do I do about it”. Standing up for ones’ self, and taking charge, not allowing ones history to repeat itself. The best way to is conduct yourself with Honesty, Integrity and Respect. Because if you do those things, and you are honest, not only with others but with yourself too, you understand who you are, and people will respect you, and know you are a person of integrity. In turn this causes them to want to become like you, and work on their own honest and integrity. These lead to mutual respect, and nothing I know of is a greater feeling than knowing someone respects you as much as you respect them.
Just saying.

Comments? EMAIL ME!!

Tuesday, 10 January, 2012

Being a good friend means a lot to different people. There’s all the amusing anecdotes about ‘a friend will bail you out of jail, a good friend will be sitting next to you saying “man we fucked up” ‘ etc - and countless others in a similar vein.
I don’t have many good friends. I have many friends. My good friends know me as the kind of person you can turn to – for advice, a kick in the ass, a shoulder, and more. I am not a person of means – I don’t have money. But what is it that I offer? Well friendship and all that implies and incurs, and time. Honestly these are the two things which, while invaluable to those who need and deserve them, cost nothing. There is no monetary value to friendship. It cant be bought – true friendship that is - because friendship which is bought is not true or real - it is based upon a lie.
Friendships can mean the world to people, and at the end of the day, friends are the family we choose, especially for those estranged from their family member by coming out etc. Its when times are tough that we need those friends – to support or encourage us, or to simply be there for a hug or a “its going to be ok” or a “well you really screwed that up, didn’t you?”.  A true friend gives all that and more, regardless of their own feelings or opinions, unless asked for. Our friends can give us sage advice when we are confused, hurt or scared too.
Sometimes we have to step back and ask ourselves: “Am I being a good friend?” or ask ourselves how we can improve ourselves as friends to others. I have not been a very good friend to some recently, and spent a few days seriously contemplating that, and made immense efforts to overcome things which were standing in the way of me being a good friend. I think, and hope, I have succeeded, but time will tell. I cannot change how people react to me, I can only change how I react to people. And I choose to be positive and be a good friend.
As a society, or a group within society, gay people generally tend to not be very supportive, except of those closest to us, and we are quick to critise, especially other gay people. I can’t tell you how many times I come across gay people online who have been down-trodden and critised, and most of that negativity has been from other gay people. We are quick to look at the negative – be it a voice, a choice of clothing, the way someone walks.
While I’ve found this negativity to be most prevalent when a group of gay men is together, individuals are guilty of it to. Someone said it takes 1000 compliments to undo one insult – perhaps they are right. Those people who only hear negative things about themselves tend to become more and more introverted and more and more negative towards themselves. I have struggled with this in the past, but no more.
This year is going to be a year of focusing on me – not entirely selfishly, but certainly somewhat so, and making changes in my life that ultimately will benefit me. From sorting the wheat from the chaff, and seeking out those who truly wish to be good friends to me, as opposed to those who just wish to have a sexual outlet online. Not that I’m saying there is anything wrong with the latter, but it doesn’t always serve m best interests to simply be a sexual object – I’m sure the same holds true for anyone in my position.
A new year promises much, but we have to get ourselves up and do it – its not just going to come to us. I’m making changes to me and my life. I’m excited at the many prospects which are ahead, and will, of course, keep you all posted!!!

Newest youtube video (posted a short while ago) HERE
Hope to get some feedback from you all.

Comments? EMAIL ME!!

Tuesday, 3 January, 2012

I know the old saying “there is no Honour amongst thieves” but is there ANY honour left in this world? I recently signed up for tumblr – because, as some of you may know, I am trying to back-up all the gay porn on the internet incase the internet crashes. And while perusing, I came across a photograph I has taken.
I was a little taken aback, as I know its not one I have ever posted online, but assumed the subject in the photo had chosen to post it (as he was the person in it). A little while later, tho, I came across not one, but two photos of me from the same play session. Now granted, this session happened a good 6 or so years ago,  and the participant and I don’t speak anymore, but does that give him the right to post photos we had agreed were for his personal use only?
Don’t get me wrong – I’m not hugely upset by this, but it did make me wonder just how much honour there is left in this world, or integrity for that matter. I guess it boils down to another reason to mistrust people - which is kind of sad. Its hard not to be jaded or become bitter when people repeatedly take advantage of you, or abuse your trust – or build your trust in them until they have what they want then blow you off. I cant even begin to tell you how often that has happened to me in the last year alone, let alone prior to that.
Have we truly become a world of people who are so selfish we cant for a moment stop and think how our words or actions can deeply affect other people? Noone is innocent of this. I know I am guilty of saying things which can be hurtful sometimes without thinking, or doing something which may not be construed as “nice”.  Weather it is posting a picture, or saying something which could be construed as negative, I have had to stop myself a number of times and think instead of just hitting “send”. I take a moment, I think and reflect about what the possible emotional or mental impact will be on someone, and if it is not going to negatively affect them, I hit send – if it is – I delete what I was going to say (or send) and find something else to occupy myself with.
A single word or action can do so much to a person. It can seriously hurt or scar, or can do increadible good. So in 2012, do your Karma and the hearts and heads of others a favour – THINK before you send, or post or speak or say something which could be negative. Putting good karma out there brings good Karma to you. Being mean, and nasty and hurtful means Karma is gonna come bitch-slap you, sometimes sooner than one thinks, and a line up of people will form behind Karma to do the same.
Here’s to a more positive 2012 for all of you!!

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